Trust
by LadyLoki89
Summary: Written for the Imagine Loki blog to fill the prompt, "Imagine the look on Loki's face when you tell him you accidentally cheated on him with Thor."
1. Part 1

**Summary: **Written for the Imagine Loki blog to fill the prompt, "Imagine the look on Loki's face when you tell him you accidentally cheated on him with Thor."

* * *

**Trust  
****Part 1**

I slammed the door to the bedchambers behind me, letting out an enraged cry as I crumbled to the floor in tears, holding my head in my hands. I had done many stupid things in my life, but this was probably the worst mistake I'd ever made.

We had been fighting, I had been tired and angry, and in my emotion-driven state, I'd stormed off to seek solitude.

Instead, I'd found Thor.

He was sitting beside the fireplace, talking with Fandral, when he saw me storm by, and cutting Fandral off in mid sentence, he rose, pursuing me until he had me cornered in the hall. "What is it?" he asked, taking me by the shoulders. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Please let me go."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," he said, his voice firm but concern painted in his eyes.

I blinked away tears and sighed. "He's in one of his… moods… again," I said, my voice breaking as I fought back sobs. "And I couldn't take it this time. I just couldn't!" I broke down and Thor pulled me into his arms.

"I'll speak with Loki," he said as he stroked my hair. "He has no right upsetting you like this."

"No, don't," I said, shaking my head. "I knew what he was like when I married him. I knew what I was getting into." It had been a few years since he had found me on Midgard. Without meaning to, love had taken hold of both of us, and after several months of struggling to make up our minds, we were married. I had never regretted my decision to be the wife of a trickster, but there were nights when his temper and condescending attitude were more than I could bear.

"You should not feel you have to endure so much sadness, regardless of what you feel is in Loki's nature," Thor said as I stepped out of his embrace. "I will have a word with my brother, and this will stop. I promise."

I smiled sadly and shook my head. "You know damn well he won't listen to you." Before he could speak, I wrapped my arms around him in another hug. "But thanks anyways." He held me close to him as my tears continued to fall, rubbing my back and whispering words of comfort.

And somewhere in the warmth of his embrace, an unwanted desire began to form.

I began to listen to the sound of his breathing, feel the beating of his heart against where my face was pressed in his chest, and I felt him sigh deeply as his arms readjusted themselves, pressing me closer. When I felt him press his lips to the top of my head, I tilted my head upwards to look at him. His face hovered a few inches from mine, hesitating, but when I did not move or show resistance, he pressed his lips to mine, and I slipped my arms around his neck, welcoming his kiss.

I don't know how long we stood there, breathing heavily as my heart began to pound, and soon the kiss grew in intensity, our lips caressing each other's sensually as his grip on me grew firmer.

Then he stopped, pulling his face back, his eyes still closed as he whispered, "Turn back." But I did not release him, and he did not release me. I stood, trying to remind myself why I should obey his words, but my mind was fogged with the intensity of the moment, and I raised myself to meet his lips once more.

Desire took charge, and he lifted me into his arms, carrying me into his chambers, and once the doors closed behind us, all inhibitions were gone. I surrendered to lust, and every breathless cry of ecstasy was heard only by his ears and the stone walls.

I had not anticipated my conscience to come crashing back within moments after it ended.

I said nothing to Thor as I picked my clothes up from the floor. I knew I didn't need to. My guilt was written all over my face, and when I glanced back at him, the sadness of regret was in his eyes.

All I could say was, "I'm sorry…" and I left, leaving him to sit on the bed and watch the door close.

And now I was on the floor, sobbing and hating myself. I tried to think of what I would say to my husband. I wondered if I would say anything to him at all.

I played the scenario over and over again in my head, trying to think of a way where it was not my fault. I could blame Loki for upsetting me and driving me out in tears in the first place. I could claim Thor seduced me and I was powerless against him.

I cringed. Those excuses were bullshit and I knew it.

Again, I considered saying nothing… but when the door opened behind me and Loki stepped in, finding me on the floor, I knew it was all over.

He knelt down, lifting my face to meet his gaze, sadness in his eyes. "I've been looking everywhere for you," he said gently. I couldn't speak and he drew me forward into his arms, holding me close. "Darling, I'm so sorry," he whispered sadly. "I would rather face the serpent's venom than cause you pain." My tears fell, landing on his forearm, as he kissed my head and stroked my hair.

I broke out of his arms, and got to my feet, unable to stop crying, and he looked up at me with hurt eyes, thinking my inability to forgive him was why I had fled his embrace. My guilt was overwhelming and my jaw clenched. I had to tell him.

"Loki, I've done something bad," I stuttered, my vision blinded by tears.

Slowly, he got to his feet, cupping my face in his hands, but I avoided making eye contact. "Whatever it is, I forgive you," he said pleadingly. "Please don't cry, darling."

Again, I broke away from his touch, hugging myself and shaking my head. "You don't understand," I cried. "I did something… really bad."

He stood silently, watching me in concern and I closed my eyes tightly, the words slowly leaving my mouth. "I… accidentally… cheated."

I opened my eyes, and saw him watching me with his brow furrowed. I could tell he didn't fully understand what I was saying, and my frustration grew as I forced myself to say it. "I… accidentally… slept with someone else."

His eyes hardened, his body stiffened, and his look grew from concerned to livid.

"…what?" he asked.

I was shaking and I hugged myself tightly. "I accidentally had sex… with Thor," I said.

There was a long silence, and I stood there, my heart racing as I watched his eyes stare at the floor. His eagerness to forgive me was gone, and I could tell with each passing moment there were images passing through his mind and thoughts of moans, sweat, and stained bed sheets.

I waited until I could bear the silence no longer, and in a hoarse voice I said, "…Loki?"

He spoke, but when his eyes met mine it was as though they were piercing right into my soul, exposing all the ugliness of what I'd done. "How does one… _accidentally_… have sex with another man?" he growled, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Loki, I'm so sorry…!" I pleaded.

He exhaled sharply, looking to the floor again and running a hand through his raven locks, his body trembling with rage. "What were you going to say? That he _accidentally _fell on you and _accidentally _wound up inside you?!" He was screaming at me, and I stood silently, taking it all in, knowing it was no less than I deserved. "That you _accidentally_ writhed naked in his bed and… oh god!" He spun around, turning his back to me, and I wept behind him.

"If I could take it back, I would!" I cried. "You have to believe me!"

"Believe you?!" he cried as he turned around, meeting my eyes again, his rage turning to pain. "I trusted you!" he roared, and I shrank back, his words breaking my heart. In all the years of lies and pain, he had somehow found the strength to confide in me and trust me, and I had destroyed it all with one severe lapse of judgment.

A single tear rolled down his cheek, and he turned, heading for the door.

Unable to stop myself, I ran after him, crying out, "Loki, please!"

He twisted around and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the anger in his teary eyes. "Do not follow me!" he hissed.

He threw the door open and stormed down the halls.

Thor found me moments later, having heard the commotion, and the two of us ran out to the Bifröst, finding him preparing to depart.

"Loki, please allow me to explain!" Thor shouted, but Loki turned around, tears rolling down his cheeks as he approached his brother angrily.

"You…" he breathed. "It wasn't enough that you had Father's love and the throne of Asgard, but you had to take my wife as well?!"

"Loki-"

"The only thing I had… and you took it. The one thing I had left!" he shouted. "And you took it!" He turned, heading to the heart of the Bifröst, and Thor made one last attempt to stop him,

"Brother, please!" he cried out, but Loki looked back at him, screaming out in rage.

"I am not your Brother!" Looking to Heimdall, he gave a nod, and in a flash of light, he was gone, leaving me to collapse in tears. Behind me, Thor drew closer, attempting to rest a hand on my shoulder, but I pulled away.

"Don't touch me!" I spat. Thor frowned and slowly he turned away, leaving me alone in my bitterness.


	2. Part 2

**Trust  
****Part 2**

I don't know why I lingered in Asgard, waiting, hoping that Loki would return. In my heart, I knew he would not. But I still remained. I continued to sleep in our bed, I continued to live in the palace, and I continued to visit the Bifröst every night, asking Heimdall if he had found Loki yet. But every night I got the same answer. There was no sign of him.

The days turned to weeks, and the weeks into months, and as time passed, I began to think that perhaps it was time for me to consider returning to Midgard to live out my miserable life with my own people.

Then came the night when a guard woke me in the middle of the night, pounding at my door. It took me a few moments to fully pull myself out of sleep, but when I finally did, I heard the loud knocking once again. Stumbling forward in my pajamas, I answered the door, the guard bowing his head apologetically to me.

"Sorry to rouse you, ma'am," he said, looking up at me. "But Heimdall has requested your presence."

My heart stopped. There would only be one reason he would do that. I nodded and hastily threw on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a sweatshirt, running to the Bifröst as fast as I could. Heimdall was waiting for me, sure as the guard had said, and before he could say a word, I blurted out, "Is it Loki?"

He nodded. "He lifted whatever spell he has to hide himself from me momentarily. Perhaps by accident, but long enough for me to spot him."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"I saw him in Jotunheim," Heimdall answered.

"Send me there," I said, determined.

"My lady, in that clothing you'll surely freeze!"

"I don't care!" I cried. "Send me there now! Before he disappears somewhere else!"

Heimdall hesitated, but nodded, and after feeling like I had been launched by a rainbow cannon, I stepped out into snow, a freezing wind stealing the air from my lungs.

I stood there in shock, the cold being far worse than I had anticipated, and I struggled to keep my body steady as I made my way towards the mountains. I called out his name, my voice seeming to vanish in the wind, but I called out anyways. The thought of frost giants finding me before I found Loki crossed my mind, but I put it aside. I had to find him.

It wasn't long before the cold began to get the better of me, and I gradually became aware that my own stubbornness would not be enough to get me through this. The realization that I was going to die in a frozen wasteland sank in, but I continued on until at last, my body could go no further, and I collapsed in the snow, the wind biting my face as I lay shivering, waiting for death.

Looking up, I could see several figures closing in, but I was too weak to panic. Frost giants.

I don't know when I lost consciousness or how long I was out, but I awoke in a strange bed, covered in several thick, warm blankets, turning my head to see a roaring fire in the fireplace beside me. Blinking a few times as the fog still cleared from my head, I sat up, the blankets falling from my torso and pooling in my lap. When I felt the freezing air on my nipples, I realized I was naked and hastily pulled the blankets back up to shield myself from the cold.

"You've lost a lot of weight," came a voice, and I felt my heart lift an inch. I knew that velvety voice anywhere.

"Loki?" I gasped, looking over to see him making his way to the foot of the bed.

"When I allowed Heimdall to see me, it was to let the others know I was still alive," he began. "I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to come looking for me, and foolishly under dressed, I might add." His harsh tone should not have surprised me, but being confronted with the fact that he was not nearly as excited to see me as I was him was a splash of cold water. When I didn't say anything, he leaned forward, and with a snarl he asked, "Why are you here?"

"I…" I was struggling for words, not even knowing what I could say to him now. That I missed him? That I was sorry? That I would give anything to have him back? A large part of me knew it would do no good to say anything at all, but I couldn't bring myself to say nothing. "…I had to find you," I said at last. "I've been so worried. Ever since you went missing I-"

"How is Thor fairing these days?" he cut in with a mocking tone.

I blinked, taken aback, and sighed. "I haven't spoken to him since you left."

My answer seemed to surprise him, and he turned slightly, pacing around. I could tell by the way he moved and the look on his face that he clearly had no idea what to do with me. I knew the idea of throwing me out to the cold must have crossed his mind by now, and I wasn't entirely convinced he'd pushed it aside. But as I looked around the bedroom I was in, the warm blankets, the fire, even my clothes laying before it so they could dry, I had to remember he had done all of that for me. In spite of how badly I'd betrayed him, he had done this for me.

Slowly, I found the courage to speak up again. "Loki… please come home." He smirked as he turned to me.

"Home…" he mused. "And what exactly is my home? Asgard? What have I there? Family? Friends?"

"You have a wife," I answered.

"I had a wife!" he snapped, storming towards me. "I had a family! And what good did it do me? A father who lied to me all my life? A brother whom I was forced to live in the shadow of?" He stared down at me angrily and I fought the urge to look away. "A wife who betrays me?" He shook his head and paced away. "I have no home," he stated simply. "I have no family. And I have no wife."

"Then am I dead to you?" I asked, tears filling my eyes. He didn't answer but simply stood with his back facing me. "Is there nothing I can do to make this right?"

"No," he answered, glancing over his shoulder at me. "There's not."

My heart sank in my chest and I sat there for the longest time, watching him, silently wishing he would turn around, tell me there was some way we could work it out, and then agree to return to Asgard with me. But it seemed like an hour had passed before I finally accepted that he would not.

"Then why bother saving me?" I cried. "You could have let me freeze to death or allowed the frost giants to have me. Why didn't you?"

He did not answer me and my body began to shake, though whether it was from cold or sorrow, I was not sure. Standing up and throwing the blankets off, I began to approach him, ignoring the cold air and the freezing stone floor that bit at my feet. His back was still towards me, but I suspected he knew I was moving closer to him.

"I know what I did was wrong, and I know you don't believe me, but I am sorry. I truly am. You've no idea how many times I've thought about it since you disappeared. You've no idea how much I hate myself for it. I've even thought of killing myself."

"And what good would that do?" he snapped, twisting around, only to stop when he saw me standing there. "Get back under the blankets!"

"I know you don't believe me," I wept, hating that I couldn't do more than repeat myself. "But I am sorry. I am so sorry!"

"You're going to freeze!" he hissed, taking up one of the blankets and moving to drape it over my shoulders. I shrank away from it, shaking my head as my tears fell.

"Stop it!" I shouted and his jaw clenched.

"I'm not going to let you die!" he shouted back.

Unable to hold back my sobs, I asked, "Why?" He stared at me, his expression softening only slightly, and I could see in his eyes that he was internally battling himself over the answer. "Because you still love me?" I asked.

The question only angered him further and he moved again to cover me with the blanket while I stood still, not dodging it this time. As he stood close to me, drawing the blanket closed over my body, I spoke, barely able to raise my voice higher than a whisper, "Whatever it takes… just tell me and I'll do it." He paused, closing his eyes and exhaled slowly, his breath gently warming my neck. "Please…" I begged. "I'll do anything."

His eyes met mine, and completely expressionless, he whispered, "You can't take it back."

His words stabbed right through me, and I lowered my head, dropping to my knees as I buried my face in my hands. He stood patiently as I wept and after a while I felt his hands draw my face upwards, making me look into his eyes. "Go home," he said, his tone much more gentle than before. His thumbs brushed my tears away and for a moment I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Go home and care for yourself. Stop clinging to what you cannot change."

I closed my eyes, and after a moment of fighting off the urge to beg him otherwise, I nodded in acceptance.

"I really am sorry," I whispered.

While he tried to hide it, I saw the tear in his eye as he replied, "I know."

I stood, dressing myself slowly, and I returned to Asgard alone.

Thor was waiting for me in the palace, but when he saw I came alone his eyes lowered, and he turned, knowing attempting to talk to me was a pointless endeavor. I stepped into my bed chambers, asking a servant to draw me a hot bath, and after pinning up my hair, I slipped into the water, allowing the warmth to chase away any remainder of the cold I was still feeling from Jotunheim.

I stared at the wall silently, trying to decide what I would do with myself now. My marriage was irreparable, and without Loki I realized how few friends I really had in Asgard. No one knew the true story of what had taken place, save Heimdall, but he'd sworn his silence on the matter. But in the way that Loki was never very close to any of the citizens of Asgard, I had more or less been the same way, though I got along with them better. The only one who had been different was his mother, but her life had been cut short two years ago.

My heart suddenly began to sting. If she was watching over us right now, I could only assume how much she hated me for what I'd done to her son.

There was always the option of returning to Midgard… perhaps my family would welcome me back once they learned I was no longer married to the demigod who had tried to enslave their planet. Then again, if they did not, where would I go? Would anyone hire me? Would anyone allow me to sign my name to a lease? I knew the people back home knew damn well who I was and who I'd married. Was I ready to face the repercussions?

I sighed and closed my eyes, resolving to come up with a plan in the morning, and I stood up from the tub, crossing over to my towel. After I had dried myself, I pulled on my robe and stepped back into my bedchambers, freezing when I saw a figure sitting on the mattress.

I waited quietly as I watched Loki sit with his back to me, his head turned to the side as if he had wanted to look at me but was unable to bring himself to do it. There were no lights in the room, only the moonlight tracing out his silhouette, and I could see his eyelashes flutter as he blinked occasionally.

"I do still love you," he said at last, twisting himself around to see me. "But I don't trust you. And I can't forgive you… not yet." Tears rolled down my cheeks but I nodded. "With time… I may," he continued, turning back so he was facing the window, pushing himself up from the mattress and on to his feet. As he made his way to me I remained absolutely silent, knowing to speak now would be the worst mistake I could make. "Until that day comes, if it comes, I'll not share a bed with you. Do you understand?"

I nodded and inhaled very slowly, forcing myself to keep my emotions as contained as possible. He stared at me for a moment, then nodded to himself, turning and leaving me to stand alone in the room.


	3. Part 3

**Trust  
****Part 3**

I saw him seldom at first, passing him once or twice in the halls, averting my eyes the first few times, part of me afraid he'd leave again if I came on too strong. Then one morning we passed each other in the courtyard and as I dared to look at him I heard him mutter softly, "Good morning."

I turned, watching him continue to walk and spoke back, "Good morning."

It was very much like we were meeting for the first time once again, every interaction cautious and brief, but evolving as we slowly warmed up to each other again. The first moment of real hope came when I spotted Thor talking with him as they passed down the hall, and they both shared a brief laugh over some joke I must have missed. I didn't need to know what made them laugh, just seeing them interact in a friendly manner again brightened my spirits.

Loki glanced back, his eyes meeting mine, and when his smile did not fade, I courageously smiled back, feeling the first warmth between us since everything went wrong.

That night, he found me in the great hall, beside the fire reading a book, and he stepped closer to glance at the title. "Is that from Midgard?" he asked.

"I went to one of the book stores this morning," I said, glancing up. "It's poetry."

"Poetry?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "And since when were you one for poetry?"

I curved my lips into half a smile and shrugged. "I dabble," I said, my heart stopping a little when he seated himself across from me.

"Is it any good?" he asked, and I couldn't control how much my face brightened at the realization that we were going to have a real conversation.

"So far," I replied. "Here…" I flipped back a few pages and cleared my throat before reading to him the words of Philip Larkin.

"Talking in bed ought to be easiest  
Lying together there goes back so far  
An emblem of two people being honest.  
Yet more and more time passes silently.  
Outside, the wind's incomplete unrest  
Builds and disperses clouds in the sky,  
And dark towns heap up on the horizon.  
None of this cares for us. Nothing shows why  
At this unique distance from isolation  
It becomes still more difficult to find  
Words at once true and kind,  
Or not untrue and not unkind…"

As the last of the words left my lips, I paused, slowly looking up to him to see he was staring at my fingers as they clasped the book, a soft smile on his features. Several long moments of silence crawled between us, and I lowered the book into my lap, folding my hands over top as I leaned forward to look at him. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.

His eyes met mine, his smile remaining, and he murmured, "I was just thinking… how I've missed our conversations." I nodded in agreement, debating for a moment what I should say next, but no words seemed right. Instead, I unfolded my hands and slowly reached forward, tracing my finger over one of his hands tentatively, waiting to see what his response would be.

His fingers uncurled, and he turned his hand over, allowing me to trace over his palm. As I did so, his own fingers slowly curved upwards, tracing lightly over my palm, and I dared to slowly rest my palm against his. Our hands caressed each other until we both worked our hands upwards, pressing our hands perfectly against each other, our fingers aligned as I couldn't help but smile at how much longer his fingers were from mine.

"I've missed you," I whispered. It wasn't til I looked at him that I realized his eyes had moved to mine. There was uncertainty on his face, and I knew he was slowly moving out of his comfort zone and into dangerous waters. Respectfully, I made no further advances, knowing I had no right to make them in the first place, not until things were fully healed.

Our hands lowered, and I sighed, happy to have shared just in that one moment.

We talked for hours and hours until the sunlight began to creep in through the windows and sleepiness began to get the better of us. Standing up, I handed my book to him with a smile. "You might like this." He hesitated, then took the book from my hand, nodding.

"Sleep well," he whispered, and we parted ways.

The next few nights he met me by the fire and we'd stay up all night talking or reading to each other, and each night our interaction slowly grew in intimacy. He slowly moved from sitting across from me to sitting beside me, the gap between us closing each night.

One night he took my hand while I read aloud to him.

Another night I rested my head on his shoulder.

A few nights later he rested his head against mine.

Then came the evening we sat reading silently from the same book, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me while his head rested against mine. As the words went by I found it harder and harder to focus, the sound of his breathing ringing through my ears, his warmth covering over me, and it wasn't until several minutes went by that I became aware he had stopped reading as well.

I slowly pulled my head out from under his and raised my face to his cheek, hovering over momentarily before pressing a kiss to his cheek. I felt his body shift slightly as he breathed in deeply, and his arm around me tightened ever so slightly. I withdrew my lips, and pulled my face back a little as he turned his face to mine. His eyes flickered over my features several times, then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my temple.

I closed my eyes, my breathing slowing at the feel of his lips, and slowly I turned my head, waiting as I felt his hand rest on the side of my face, drawing me forward. When our lips met, my heart burst, all the pain and longing melting away as what I once thought impossible returned to reality. His kiss remained tender and sweet, our lips caressing each others, and slowly he drew me closer to him.

When I felt the book slide from my lap and fall to the floor, I moved to break the kiss in an attempt to catch it, but he held me firmly, not allowing me to move away, and as the book hit the ground with a thud, Loki coaxed my lips to part.

The kiss grew in passion and intensity, his fingers running through my hair as one of his hands traveled to the small of my back, pressing me against him. I traced the side of his face with my fingers, sighing against him, and his lips parted to whisper, "Lay back."

He moved back as I obeyed, laying back against the stone floor, my knees bent, and he rested himself between my legs, his lips returning to mine as I ran my fingers into his thick black hair, one of his arms wrapped around the back of my neck, his hand resting on my shoulder, and his other arm snaked around my waist, embracing me tightly while his lips devoured me.

I had missed him for so long. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be his, to feel him give way completely to desire.

After what felt like an eternity, he parted, sitting upwards to remove his clothing, and I undressed quietly, resuming my position beneath him.

There was no foreplay, no teasing of each other. There was no lust in any of our actions. As my skin met his, I felt as if my soul was slowly having life breathed back into it, and as his arousal slowly penetrated me, I felt in that moment as though I was once again complete.

I lay still at first, allowing him to have full reign of what took place, knowing he needed to be leading the way, but soon I began to meet my hips with his, receiving a pleased groan from him as he thrust into me even harder. His body covered over me, his face hovering near my ear, allowing me to hear his every breath as emotion slowly grew clouded by pleasure. When I was sure he was in a state of pure ecstasy, I allowed myself to indulge, clenching my walls around him as I moved in the same rhythm. I heard him gasp and he moaned my name, his lips kissing my throat while I wrapped my arms around him, my nails digging lightly into this back.

I felt his muscles begin to twitch and his breathing grew erratic. I was nowhere close to my own release, but I didn't care. Instead I moved my hips to encourage him on, listening as he emitted a low groan, his breathing becoming erratic, and his hips slamming against me a few more times as I felt the hot rush of his orgasm fill me.

His body remained still as he lay on top of me, and after several breathless minutes rolled by, he moved himself upwards, causing me to notice the glisten of tears in his eyes. He sat up, reaching out for me, and I sat up as well, scooting next to him as he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my face and burying his own face into my neck.

I couldn't find any words to say, but somehow I knew I didn't need to. Instead I sat there in the warmth of his embrace, relishing the sweet freedom of forgiveness.


End file.
